so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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