im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
