Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
