you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
