it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
