I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
