at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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