I molested 6 butterflies tonight
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
