Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
