We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Randomize
