he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
