Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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