Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
