Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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