And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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