they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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