Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Randomize
