dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize