I never want to see another naked old woman again.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
