if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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