That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
The beers last night were like the tears from god
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
