remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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