Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
