I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Is Oprah even human
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
