covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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