Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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