dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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