I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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