I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
