just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
