...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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