"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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