May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
She's the barista slut.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
