his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
