She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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