I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
