Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
well I can't set my house on fire every night
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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