The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My hand turned me down
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
