Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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