he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
