Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
