Do you still have your period?
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
