I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize