i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
