You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
When are your genitals available?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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