I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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