We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
