this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
