its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
