its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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