Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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