Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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