so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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