dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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