You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I can't put those talents on a resume
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
