and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
