Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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