Sponge bath it is.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
