I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
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