Ambien. No doubt about it.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I have grass duct taped all over my body
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
