dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Randomize
