I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
