The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
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